Whoosh… this is by no measure easy, splashing about in the waters of life. Even with my own loose-open-confident-nature, it doesn’t matter. I am exhausted with structures shifting. For sure some bits, some of those key structural bits, are not even making it through the splash landing of Saturn in Pisces at all.
So, with structures landing in the deep ocean, (see my bit on Saturn Herself May be Dancing with an Oceanic Liberty. I Think She is Skinny Dipping in Pisces). I am going push into sacred teachings. That of being and not doing, or that of silence within as everything, and so on. These groove for sure. I just feel that these do not diminish the learning at hand in banal life.
My human failures are piling up. I keep failing to live my -ideal options- when shit is hitting the fan. Or in the case of my recent camping, buckets of water are flooding my trailer. I am camping without my faithful partner. It is all on me, and this has never happened before! Water is pouring across the floor.
Or flights are delayed for days in a foreign airport on strike with a large tour group. There is no option to be nimble with a pack of people touring together.
Or to be housed in my body with limits galore, with kiddos with exuberant natures. While they are nearly completely unlimited - in energy and play they are as well clever enough to circumvent ANYthing. Saturn in Pisces. Whoosh!!
Saturn in Pisces has also offered playing which is deliriously fun. Unleashed flow.
Unexpected adventures. Oh it is so lovely to have harmony and ease because of structures dropping into watery dynamics. We, me be flowing! Life which has -water- persuade the dynamics of what will be. Wow. Whooshy mama it is fabulous.
And yet why do I feel I am getting my ass bit. I feel it is something of my conditioned condition. You know that thing we grew into as a kid and never got rid of, completely, in this life. It is called being human. Well mine, has me looking for an end game. Or a goal. Maybe as well, a sense of purpose.
Now all of this is going to tie me up a bit. Just feel it. My purpose to which I am bound to figure and accomplish, is set by the values within my conditional condition conditioning me on how I move.
Clearly life, the nature of our full cosmic life, is not bound to the condition of my conditioning. So to define purpose, within my given conditions, will be to omit that which doesn’t fit our full cosmic influences. Let me say it again, so to define purpose, within my given conditions, will be to omit that which doesn’t fit our full cosmic influences.
We know there are vast types of conditions for us humans. From the ways of my conditioning even the word purpose suggests this is to be my value. Yet my value may or may not be intrinsically connected to the whole of life. In my case no, because in Western Civ we are not so intertwined with nature. Our customs are to subjugate nature, not to listen or recognize we are just part of it.
So in many ways, boy howdy, what a gift it is to have Saturn in Pisces dropping our structures, my conditioning, this thing of my purpose into the brink. Let disruption occur, and let the waters show the flow. May those structures be mobilized with a whole new groove. I am being mobilized with a whole new groove. And even if the structures are dropped into stagnant waters some structures will be…undone. Transformed in the muck of underwater composting.
Ain’t it curious in the midst of this shifting, in this wild ride of structures submerged,
-I feel guilty for not being perfectly tuned in to how to respond.
-I feel self critical for not getting it right.
These are my things which I have seen come up.
-I wanted to fight for some things to be done in a way I KNEW they would succeed. And as it didn’t happen
-I was so frustrated!
-Then guilty for my frustrations.
Whoosh. Mercy me. It is my conditioning, which has a bite on me, and yet, I was struggling to maintain something. Guilting me to maintain. Firing me up to maintain. I strongly felt that I was not a responsible adult, if I didn’t maintain. Maintain what?
I have a thing, I have a challenge, or a query. I feel a spiritually fashioned journey does not take me or we are not off this hook of human life. This human ride can have us be in the flow, a human experiential flow. If we deny our bodies, deny our 3D reality, to deny our human nature to be interwoven with cosmic nature, we are not being immersed in what I call divine play.
This life is not about escape, but submersion. Submission as submersion, this is simply a dynamic experience! Diving in as submission?
Might I embrace submersions into the oceanic waters of divine - to play it out.
What conditions, what of me will fall away, torque, or become buoyant.
It isn’t in what diminishes. It isn’t in what surfaces. Those are the dynamics. I feel these dynamics of everyday though provides me, any of us, a portal. A portal or a Saturnian threshold.
What do you think this portal provides?
I personally don’t see it to be some glorious divine orchestration to which I am gloriously apart of. These notions sit within my conditioned condition. (And I am sure I have a generous dose of this orchestration of life from previous lives! ha!)
This portal, or Saturnian threshold, for me, it is this eternal essence within the fabric of my conditions interweaving with the whole of cosmic nature. The whole of cosmic nature at play as (conditioned) me in life without a purposeful plan.
That which is and that which is way way beyond from this 3D dimension is enfolded within cosmic nature. And it interfaces with my particular conditions to exude divine play.
I have been reminded and re-taught, that conditions are and roll on. So clearly for me, it is NOT to be stuck on escaping everyday life conditions as though that is spiritual freedom. Let structures disassemble and build up. Catabolism to anabolism. It just is. Life death life. Watch plants, they do it all. And they are my teachers. Just be real. Submersed in this reality knowing this is but play. My eternal soul’s play. Divine play. I am here in banal life as divine play.
x Mmmm
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Herbalism, Art, & Astrology: Our Earth Based Systems ... Wild and Close
Marilyn Michele Kunkel MFA, BFA